Journal Entry 20
I have such a headache. Probably stress. The preparation for the naming ceremony is going well. Casey is getting so excited and the baby seems to be thriving. Casey is also doing well. Plans for the festival also continue. We have had several responses from several of the local gangs who wish to participate. The same gangs come year after year. I can’t wait; we need some diversion, some fun. My brain is tired. What else can I tell you? Oh, I know Jonas is climbing the walls. We still have not heard from Matt since he defected over to the Central Bobcats. I hope he is safe and not taking any unnecessary chances.
Journal Entry 18
There are days and then there are days. Matt and Jonas fought at the plaza today. It was awful. Both boys were injured. They both had bloody lips, cuts and bruises. A couple of venders are going to have to rebuild after Matt and Jonas crashed thru their kiosks. It didn’t take long for a crowd to develop. People began to cheer for one or the other. It always annoys me that people encourage fights. You would think that the proper thing to do would be to stop the fight but not in this town. Any way, as the fight grew in intensity a couple of the Hulk’s goons from the Central campus arrived. They just stood back and watched. I am not surprised. The fight ended as Matt pinned Jonas to the pavement. Some words exchanged that I would rather not repeat. Then Matt released Jonas and stood up. Jonas struggled to his feet. He yelled at his brother that they were no longer brothers. I wanted to cry. After the show, the crowd dispersed as quickly as it formed except for the Central goons. They were interested in Matt. I wasn’t close enough to hear the conversation but Matt left with the enemy.
Journal Entry 16
I held a meeting with the community leaders of the larger gangs that are allies with Bear Country. I love community meetings. No, actually, I don’t but sometimes they are a necessity. I am not a very good diplomat. I have trouble hiding my emotions. I always turn a bright shade of red when I get flustered. What I hate the most is that these meetings always end up loud and noisy. Getting everyone to agree is always a challenge but I think we have a workable plan. All the gang leaders have agreed that getting someone inside the Bobcat campus is a necessity. Bear Country will have to get someone inside but first we have to find out what kind of security the Hulk has in place so that we can get information out once we are inside.
I went to see Tony after the meeting. He is still angry with me. At first, he pretending to be working on something and ignored that I was even standing in the same room. I said I was sorry and that if I could bring back Runt I would. I said I needed his friendship. He thru a wrench across the room (It barely missed my head) and said I wasn’t a very good friend. A friend is someone you can count on. Someone you can depend on. I said, “I was dependable.” He said I wasn’t. He said I should have kept a closer eye on Runt. Perhaps he was right. I should have kept a closer eye on the little guy. However, honestly, I can’t be everywhere at once. I have a great deal of responsibility. I would have done my best to look after Runt if Tony had died. We all would have looked after him. It’s what we do in Bear Country. We look after each other. No one could have prevented Runt from leaving if he wanted to leave. No one is under lock and key.
Tony went back to what ever it was he was working on and I left the room. I said I really was sorry.
Journal Entry 15
Central continues to cause trouble. I went to the Plaza today with Matt and Jonas. The streets are crazy. People are missing. No proof but the word is that the Central Bobcats are behind the disappearances. I knew Central was recruiting older males, large males of substantial build but the missing are young boys. Apparently, four young boys have disappeared in four days. Took Matt and Jonas, collected a few community leaders, and went over to the Central campus. We were hoping that the Hulk (as we enduringly call him) might be able to help us. Let us know where the boys are. His goons wouldn’t let us thru the front door. Apparently, the Hulk is busy with Central Bobcat business and can’t be disturbed. We tried to force our way in but the goons guarding the entrance had lethal weapons we weren’t prepared to deal with at that moment in time. We left a message. This whole thing with Central is getting on my nerves.
Journal Entry 14
Tony is still avoiding me. He won’t look at me. He won’t talk to me. He will not enter if I am in a room. I wish I knew what to say. I have tried to apologize. I have never seen him this angry with anyone before. I don’t know what to do. The cold shoulder he is giving me is breaking my heart. I keep hoping that Runt will walk thru the front door.
Journal Entry 13
I woke up early this morning. I didn’t sleep very well last night. I kept thinking about what Tony said to me yesterday. By the way, he is now avoiding me. I tried to talk to him this morning but he wasn’t interested in anything I had to say. To get my mind off things I went to the plaza to see if I could find another pair of shoes. No shoes, but I did run in to a kid with a very well trained dog. They were doing some amazing tricks and entertaining the crowd. The dog listened so well. Then a couple of Central goons showed up. They enjoy causing trouble and as usual, they did. They started tossing trash at the dog and pushing around his owner. I wanted to see the dog eat one of them. They would have deserved it. Unfortunately, the dog was well trained and didn’t attack but he did display an impressive display of I am going to eat your heart out if you don’t leave my owner alone.
With help from the crowd, the Central goons crawled away in disgrace. I can feel trouble in the air. The Central Bobcats continue to make life difficult. I heard that the Hulk is recruiting goons. I need to organize a meeting with the town leaders to see if we can do something about Central. Unfortunately, people are getting more and more afraid. People like to look the other way when it doesn’t involve them. I have a feeling this is going to involve the whole town soon.
Journal Entry 12
I feel so bad. No one told Tony that Runt was missing. I was updating the bulletin board in the admin hallway when Tony asked me where Runt was. I just stood there and stared at him. I finally told him that I was sorry. Runt had been missing for days. I tried to explain to Tony why we think Runt left. That he left to find medicine and that Jonas and Matt went looking for him. Tony was so angry that he yelled at me for being irresponsible. He said I should have been more reliable and that it’s my fault if Runt is dead. I don’t blame him for yelling at me. We should have told Tony that Runt was missing sooner.
Runt was not my primary responsibility. He just appeared on our doorstep one day, dirty and hungry. Tony became is friend. Tony is the one who took care of him. This is going to sound stupid but I honestly didn’t realize that I should have been taking care of Runts needs while Tony was ill. I just assumed that everyone took care of everyone. I have a tremendous amount of responsibility around here. I try to make sure that life around Bear Country runs smoothly and most of the time it does.
Journal Entry 11
The Journal Club has finished with the flyers for the up and coming festival. Evan and J.T. have done a wonderful job again. It amazes me how creative they can be. They will be distributing the flyers around town today. The festival is the one time of the year when everyone gets together and has a good time. We forget about our sorrows and pain and enjoy ourselves. I am a little worried about the Central Bobcats. I am keeping my fingers crossed that they don’t cause any trouble. Sheriff Pete is working on obtaining people for security of the festivities. It is going to be a challenge for him. He is asking for help from around the community.
I heard Lisa practicing her guitar this morning and singing. She has such a beautiful voice. She usually tries to sing happy songs but sometimes you can hear a little sadness in her voice. She keeps the sad songs to herself. No one bothers her when she goes to the roof to sing and play. I am not sure if she knows that we can still hear her up there. It’s her place of solitude, so we leave her alone.
Journal Entry 10
It rained all night long. I love the rain. I seem to sleep well when it rains. It is going to be a busy day. I promised Casey I would watch the baby a little while so that she can take care of herself. She is the cutest baby. I hope Casey gets to enjoy her for a long time. I am not so sure I would want to take on the responsibility of having a baby. There are so many things to worry about. Babies don’t seem to do as well as they used to. Medicines don’t exist. There are limited things you can do when they get ill. No one talks about the things that can go wrong. I wonder if Casey worries about the baby getting ill. I would worry.
I saw Tony up walking around a little while ago. He was walking toward the showers. It’s a good thing because he was starting to smell bad. If he had been severely ill for much longer, it was going to be a challenge to get people to sit with him.
Journal Entry 9
I forgot to take my journal with me yesterday. I went for a walk, a long walk. Went by my old home and someone was living there. I guess I shouldn’t be surprised. It has a very homey feel. I wanted to run up to the people living there and say “get out this is my home.” I didn’t, I just stood there. I stood there for a long time until my stomach said it was time to eat. I said goodbye to my home and went looking for food.
Update, Tony is getting better. He is still sore and bruised but he isn’t dead. This is a good thing because without him Bear country just wouldn’t be the same. As for Runt, he is still missing. I am beginning to think we will never see him again. It has been days and he is so little.