Welcome to the home of my fictional journal, The Diary of Madie Beartri.
This blog first began in 2004 and grew into a collection of more than 350 journal and diary entries, following Madie’s life and adventures as they unfolded over the years.
Although the original blog disappeared many years ago, I was fortunate enough to recover every written entry. I’m now bringing them back to life here so the story can be enjoyed once again. Sadly, many of the original podcast recordings were lost along the way.
As I rebuild the blog, I’ll be re-recording the missing podcasts. They may not sound exactly like the originals, but they’ll share the same stories, memories, and adventures that readers have enjoyed from the beginning.
Thank you so much for stopping by. I hope you’ll enjoy getting to know Madie and following her journey as much as I enjoyed writing it.
I finally found a new journal to write in. I found it at the plaza, and I paid a hefty price, but I desperately needed something to write my thoughts down in. You would think that a person living inside of a school building would have access to paper. Not in this school. Except for the stash the Journal Club keeps under lock and key, the only paper in this school is the student records. This paper, of course, is already written on and serves no useful purpose to me. Not a lot to tell about bear country, except that things have been quiet for weeks. I am a little bored.
Actually, I am really bored. Everyone is off doing their own thing. I was hoping maybe I could get someone to play a game of cards. Spades, perhaps. It’s a fun game, but no one was interested. I even asked the library trio, Marty, Gretchen, and Cecilia. Day in and day out, they sit in the media center and read.
Surely they could have used a diversion. They weren’t interested. Marty said they were doing research. This sounded so funny. Somewhat interesting, so I asked if I could help. They all three looked at me and in unison said no, and before I knew what was happening, they pushed me out of the media center, and then they locked the door. Here we go. Those three are a wealth of information. A little odd and secretive, and they are rarely seen alone, but they can be very helpful at times. I am only a little hurt that they didn’t want to play with me.
Oh well, their loss. The agriculture club is trying their best to supply us with a variety of fruits and vegetables, but an unfortunate accident with a bug infestation has damaged much of our crops. In an effort to keep us from starving to death, the Agriculture Club has asked for volunteers.
They need people to help with the crops that are left. I will be spending much of my time next week helping in the fields. Oh joy, It’s not that I’m… mind helping out, I just hate manual labor. Oh well, better to help now than to starve later.
There’s trouble in Bear Country.
The Runt came running down the admin hall before sun-up this morning, he was yelling at the top of his lungs.
“Get up, Get up. They took our fuel! “
I jumped off my couch and met the boy in the hallway.
“Ok, we get the point.” I yelled back.
I grabbed the Runt by his shoulders and tried to calm him down.
By this time everyone living in the admin hall was awake. Sleepy eyes everywhere.
The Runt tried to squirm out of my hold as he cried.
“Tony’s hurt, they beat him up!”
Tony lives in the basement. He has been my friend (sort of) since before the world turned upside down. We didn’t run in the same circles, but we had several classes together. He always asked my opinions on homework assignments. I used to wish he would ask me out on a date. Unfortunately, he was dating a cheerleader. Tony isn’t very social these days, but he is very good at fixing whatever we break.
I ordered the Runt to stay put in the admin hall and grabbed some muscle. When I say muscle, I am referring to Matt and Jonas. The three of us ran toward the basement.
The basement was a mess, and Tony was slumped against the far wall, “I tried to reason with them.” he said as he spit out a mouth full of blood. “They took all our fuel!”
Tony said it was Central. I was not surprised. They have been giving us trouble for ages.
The Central Bobcats are from the East end of Lafayette Blvd we live on the west. We were rivals in football, basketball and volleyball. Our bands competed against each other in competitions before the world threw itself into chaos. The big difference between us and Central is that we are not a bunch of thieves and bullies.
I take back the “I’m bored” thing. Bear Country held a meeting tonight to discuss what could be done about our missing fuel. The consensus was nothing. Asking for the fuel back wasn’t an option, taking the fuel back wasn’t an option, although two people who shall remain nameless thought, we should storm central and take it back. Can you say Matt and Jonas. We voted this down because of the possibility of casualties, on our side. We decided to put int place a security team detail during the night hours. Everyone over the age of 12 would be required to keep watch at two-hour intervals. Our resources are few and we don’t need to be losing anything else. We have strength in numbers, and we can protect ourselves when necessary.
At the meeting we also discussed the up-and-coming festival. Like last year we plan to have a feast, music and games. The Journal club will be putting up fliers to announce the event to the community. We invited everyone, except for central of course. With luck they won’t grace us with their presence at this year’s event.
I Dreamt about being home again last night. I swear I could almost feel and smell the clean sheets. It felt like a weekend. One of those mornings when you had a great night’s sleep. A familiar smell wakes you. My mom was in the kitchen making her famous biscuits. I miss those biscuits. I miss the strawberry jam. I don’t know what woke me from my dream, but it was a letdown when I realized it wasn’t real.
I went to the market plaza today to see if I could find a pair of new shoes (old shoes). The ones I have are coming apart at the seams. My feet wouldn’t fit into any of the shoes. I guess I will wear these a little longer. While I was shopping, I overheard people discussing the Central Bobcats and their leader Xavier Boulder. The Central Goons are causing trouble all over town. I am not usually afraid of anything, but “the Boulder” seriously worries me. He is so evil. People say he is that way because his father was always beating on him, especially if he lost a tournament. I don’t know if this is true or not or if it is just a rumor kids spread around to explain his meanness. I do know that he never seems to have remorse about his actions. He actually enjoys hurting people.
We moved Tony from the basement up to the admin hallway. He is not doing well. His eye seems to be better, but his stomach is extremely bloated and painful to the touch. He isn’t holding any food down, but we are insisting that he drink water. People die from dehydration. Marty, Gretchen and Cecilia have walked out to the main library to do some research on Tony’s condition. With any luck they will come back with some answers on what we should do to help him. In the meantime, the kids are taking turns sitting with Tony and trying to keep him comfortable.
Tony is getting worse and the Runt is missing. I couldn’t find him anywhere this morning. He didn’t show for breakfast. His bike is also missing. He is too little to be out in the city alone. It would be disastrous if the Central Bobcats caught him.
Lisa took over sitting with Tony after the Runt. She said he was obviously upset and mentioned something about finding medicine to help. If I thought medicine was available, I would have been the first person to go and find some. Unfortunately, finding medicine for even the common cold is just not possible. Survivors emptied out the pharmacies long ago. You can occasionally come across something to barter but there is no guarantee that what you are bartering for is actually in the bottle. The only time medicine appears on the market is when some desperate soul is trying to save a dying loved one. People have been known to sell their soul for medicine, and it turn out to be nothing at all. Some awful concoction someone has put together. Matt and Jonas volunteered to go and look for the Runt. I would have gone but I have things that need my attention here.
It has been a long day. Matt and Jonas have still not returned with the Runt. I am keeping my fingers crossed that the Runt is doing fine and that the Central Bobcats didn’t catch him. Tony was his best friend, is his best friend. Speaking of Tony, he is still recovering. We are still taking turns looking after him. He is not taking in many fluids, but his color is improving slightly.
We held elections today for sheriff. Sherrif Pete will take over as the man in charge of security. He has started looking for people to fill the deputy sheriff positions. I need to put a Thank you in the Bear News for everyone that helped out in the middle of the night.
I suppose I should give you some good news. Casey finally delivered her baby. Her labor lasted for days. She was in labor, then she wasn’t, she was in labor then she wasn’t. I felt bad for her because she was in constant pain. Everything turned out fine in the end. Mom and baby are doing well. As soon as Casey is up to it, we are going to have a naming ceremony. The ceremony usually occurs about two weeks after the baby’s birth and that will put it around the end of the month.
I forgot to take my journal with me yesterday. I went for a walk, a long walk. Went to my old home and someone was living there. I guess I shouldn’t be surprised. It has a very homey feel. I wanted to run up to the people living there and say, “get out this is my home.” I didn’t, I just stood there. I stood there for a long time until my stomach said It was time to eat. I said goodbye to my home and went looking for food.
Update, Tony is getting better. He is still sore and bruised but he isn’t dead. This is a good thing because without him Bear Country just wouldn’t be the same. As for the Runt, he is still missing. I am beginning to think we will never see him again. It has been days and he is so little.
It rained all night long. I love the rain. I seem to sleep well when it rains.
It is going to be a busy day. I promised Casey I would watch the baby a little while so that she can take care of herself. She is the cutest baby. I hope Casey gets to enjoy her for a long time. I am not so sure I would want to take on the responsibility of having a baby. There are so many things to worry about. Babies don’t seem to do as well as they used to. No medicine. there are limited things you can do when they get ill. No one talks about the things that can go wrong. I wonder if Casey worries about the baby getting ill. I would worry.
I saw Tony up walking around a little while ago. He was heading toward the showers. It’s a good thing because he was starting to smell really bad. If he had been severely ill for much longer it was going to be a challenge to get people to sit with him.
The Journal Club has finished with the flyers for the up-and-coming festival. Evan, and J.T. have done a wonderful job again. It amazes me how creative they can be. They will be distributing the flyers around town today. The festival is the one time of the year when everyone gets together and has a good time. We forget about our sorrows and pain and enjoy ourselves. I am a little worried about the Central Bobcats. I am keeping my fingers crossed that they don’t cause any trouble. Sherriff Pete is working on obtaining people for security of the festivities. It is going to be a challenge for him. He is asking for help from around the community.
I heard Lisa practicing her guitar this morning and singing. She has such a beautiful voice. She usually tries to sing happy songs but sometimes you can hear a little sadness in her voice. She keeps the sad songs to herself. No one bothers her when she goes to the roof to sing and play. I am not sure if she knows that we can still hear her up there. It’s her place of solitude, so we leave her alone.
I feel so bad. No one told Tony that Runt was missing. I was updating the bulletin board in the admin hall when Tony asked me where the Runt was. I just stood there and stared at him. I finally told him that I was sorry the Runt had been missing for days. I tried to explain to Tony why we think the Runt left. That he left to find medicine and that Jonas and Matt went looking for him.
Tony was so angry that he yelled at me for being irresponsible. He said that I should have been more reliable and that it’s my fault if the Runt is dead. I don’t blame him for yelling at me. We should have told Tony that the Runt was missing sooner. The Runt was not my primary responsibility. He just appeared on our doorstep one day, dirty and hungry. Tony became his friend. Tony is the one who took care of him. This is going to sound stupid, but I honestly didn’t realize that I should have been taking care of the Runts’ needs while Tony was ill. I just assumed that everyone took care of everyone. I have a tremendous amount of responsibility around here. I try to make sure that life around Bear Country runs smoothly. Most of the time it does.
I woke up early this morning. I didn’t sleep very well last night. I kept thinking about what Tony said to me yesterday. By the way he is now avoiding me. I tried to talk to him this morning, but he wasn’t interested in anything I had to say. To get my mind off things I went to the plaza to see if I could find another pair of shoes. No shoes, but I did run into a kid with a very well-trained dog. They were doing some amazing tricks and entertaining the crowd.
I can feel trouble in the air. The Central Bobcats continue to make life difficult. I heard they were recruiting goons. I need to organize a meeting with the town leaders to see if we can do something about Central. Unfortunately, people are getting more and more afraid. People like to look the other way when it doesn’t involve them. I have a feeling this is going to involve the whole town soon.
Tony is still avoiding me. He won’t look at me. He won’t talk to me. He won’t enter a room that I am in. I wish I knew what to say. I have tried to apologize. I have never seen him this angry with anyone before. I don’t know what to do. This cold shoulder he is giving me is breaking my heart. I keep hoping the Runt will walk thru the front doors of Bear Country.
The Central Bobcats continue to cause trouble. I went to the Plaza today with Matt and Jonas. Xavier’s Goons were causing trouble, stealing and taking things that didn’t belong to them.
The streets are filled with frustration and worry. People are missing. No proof but the word is that the Central Bobcats are behind the disappearances. I knew central was recruiting large males of substantial build and fighting abilities, but the missing are young people. I took Matt and Jonas and collected a few community leaders, and we went over to the Central campus. We knocked on the front doors and asked to speak to their leader Xavier Boulder. HIs goons wouldn’t let us through the front doors.
Apparently, the Boulder was busy with Central Bobcat business and couldn’t be disturbed. We left a message. This whole thing with Central is getting on my nerves.
Today I met with the leaders of our allies to discuss Xavier Boulder and his army of goons. I love community meetings. No, actually I don’t but sometimes they are a necessity. I am not a very good diplomat. I have trouble hiding my emotions. I always turn a bright shade of red when I get flustered. The thing I hate the most is that these meetings always end up loud and chaotic. Getting everyone to agree is always a challenge but I think we have a workable plan. We need to get a spy inside the Central Campus.
I went to see Tony after the meeting. He is still angry with me.
At first, Tony pretended to be working on something and ignored me. I said I was sorry and that if I could bring back the Runt I would. Tony stopped what he was doing and through a wrench across the room. He said I wasn’t a very good friend. A friend is someone you can count when things get tough.
Perhaps he was right. I should have kept a closer eye on the little guy. But honestly, I can’t be everywhere at once. I have a great deal of responsibility.
I think Tony has forgiven me. He stopped by my room in the admin hallway yesterday. He asked to help with the Central recon mission. I guess this is his way of saying he is sorry for being mad at me.
Last night, Me, Tony, Matt, and Jonas, we went to the Central campus to sneak around and gather info. The Central campus is huge compared to Bear Country. It’s incredible. As we snuck around, we saw only a handful of guards walking around the main building, the gym and the field house. The rest of the school looked abandoned and not used. We scouted for a convenient place we could use to get intel in and out of the school.
The STEM building was quiet, so we looked in a few of the broken windows and saw no lights, no people, no goons. We stumbled upon an unlocked door and decided to enter the building very cautiously. All the classrooms were trashed and empty. After wondering around, we decided the STEM building would be an excellent place to leave and retrieve messages.
We left quietly. It was a successful mission.
The next step is to actually get someone into the Central Bobcats.
